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STAN STANHOPE has a fantastic head of hair and would use one of his Genie-wishes (were he to get the standard three) on world peace. He believes that his impeccable hygiene and diction can help make this world a better place if only scientists can figure out a way to make that happen. Until then, he distrusts science.
Stan doesn’t speak any other languages, but honestly believes that the people from other countries will understand him if he just speaks his English loudly and clearly enough.
He is for carnations, real butter and American Idol. He is against titanium, cartoonists, and the word, “filibuster”
Stan started his career outside of Wichita as an orchard correspondent for a local produce magazine. He quickly ascended to the position of Grove Chief before the voices of the big city beckoned him. He heeded their call and moved to Wichita proper. The city scared him and so he moved back. He was not rehired by the Magazine and it was then that he learned that it wasn’t a magazine at all, but an elaborate ruse perpetrated by the citizens of the small town, to keep Stan from loitering.
This single incident, combined with a healthy diet and proper exercise, made Stan question all he had believed in up to that point. He met a man who might have actually been a woman, in a bus depot in Wichita. This person’s name was unremarkable enough that Stan has forgotten everything about him/her with the exception of his/her gender non-specificity… and that this person, introduced Stan to the glamorous but dangerous world of Splenda.
When Stan finally regained consciousness, he was on a bus headed for Loudon, New Hampshire. But because he had to pee, he got off in New York City, and, long story short, Stan is now the host of the hit series, Poli-Graft, and the creator of Obama, or Yo Mama.
He wishes people nothing but the best, unless, of course they are bad people, in which case he wishes them two other things besides the best…and they have to guess what those two things are. |